This is the same couple that had to buy a BIGGER house than their friends, just because. I titled that post MY HOUSE IS BIGGER THAN YOUR HOUSE.
About two weeks later Sung Hyun went over to their house (alone) to help our friends with something. This was one of the first times he met them by himself, usually we do couple things together. Anyways our Korean friends sat Sung Hyun down to talk with him in private. First they apologized and said that they were sorry. They said he works so hard and makes a lot of money so they feel bad for him that he has to do things around the house and I do nothing (at this time I was working full-time and part-time and taking a grad class).
Of course Sung Hyun told them that we share the responsibilities in the house and that we both make money. But that didn't seem to matter. To them, he should be doing NOTHING and I should be ever so grateful that he comes home with a paycheck. The fact that I work outside the home and am studying to get my Masters is irrelevant. That's a lovely double-edged sword.
"If you worked just as hard and just as many hours at McDonalds and make minimum wage, would they still think you work so hard?", I asked Sung Hyun after he told me this story.
"Of course not!" he replied. It's all about the money.
I was angered at first. Sung Hyun told me this story when we were talking about perspectives. He actually wasn't going to tell me what happened but this story came about when we talked about only being able to see, and thus interpret a situation, from very limited information. And to demonstrate that what actually goes on inside the home isn't portrayed. He was actually teaching me a lesson about judgement. If this conversation didn't come up he would have never told me about what happened with our Korean friends. In fact, he prefaced the story by saying "I'm going to tell you what (couple A) thinks about our relationship, but please don't get angry."
I wasn't mad at Sung Hyun for sharing this information with me. I was actually hurt that my friends would pull Sung Hyun aside to talk to him in private. If the couple wanted to engage in a constructive debate about prescribed gender roles then they could have brought it up over dinner that night, to my face. But that wouldn't be the Korean way.
The thing is I'm CANADIAN, not Korean. WE live in CANADA now, not Korea. We balance our cultures. We find a way to make it work for us.
But to our Korean friends, we have to do it the Korean way. And so Sung Hyun's PENIS will always be BETTER than my PENIS*.
* Sorry for the obscene play on words.