Monday, January 09, 2012

Less is MORE

Ever get those days when you want to walk away from your life and go on permanent vacation? For me, that day was yesterday.

Yesterday we bought a condo. We accepted the counter offer and signed on the dotted line. Easiest job in the world for our real estate agent since I went to the open house for the condo myself and got him to take me to the place again with Sung Hyun later that night and put in an offer at 11:30 pm. If being an agent is that easy then I want that job (although I suspect in most cases it doesn't work like this).

Today I started a new job. I have the flu. I didn't get enough sleep last night.

Tonight I have my first grad class. I have a headache and just want to go to bed.

I've considered dropping this grad class because I'm already putting a lot of pressure on myself to do well. I got a 90% in my first class and I want that damn scholarship. So moving into a new place, teaching privates 10+ hours a week, working full-time, then balancing a new full-time job is really too much.

I've also considered dropping all my extra teaching that I've worked hard to build up over the past 1.5 years. Good-bye business.

I've also considered quitting everything and running away 'cuz that's my all or nothing attitude. I seriously want to be a stay-at-home house wife and not cook or clean. Kind of half-truth.

I think when I go so hard there comes a point when I get so exhausted and overwhelmed that the things I was working so hard for no longer matter to me. I've hit a wall. A really big wall and I'd like to just walk away and go on a vacation for an indefinite period of time.

Oh yah, I've got my period and I'm just coming off vacation. There is no such thing as less in my vocabulary. Maybe I need to work on lesser. Or hire my friend Krista to be my life coach/organizer/counsellor. Krista?!


Anonymous said...

Congrats! Post a picture when you can. I'd love to see the place.

I understand the feeling of feeling so overwhelmed that nothing brings you joy.When that happens, I usually take a couple of days off and go somewhere. However, you just came back from a few days away, so maybe it's something bigger than that.

Can you let go of one of the things in your list? Even a small change would make a huge difference.

Foreigner Joy said...

yea I would try to do what is possible. You have accomplished a lot in life already...maybe set goals that are attainable...hrmm

asiangarden said...

Oh boy! You do have a very full plate and wow! A new place?? I am so excited for you! I wish you could take a breath and enjoy all you have accomplished! But I know it's tough right now. Will it help to know I am routing for you? You are my hero!

Anonymous said...

Take it one step at a time Jen. You are not the give up, walk away type. Lists help!!! Do a little bit every day, and you will be amazed by how quickly it all gets your dad was a professional mover!! HELLO!!!!!

Helena said...

I think everyone feels that way sometimes. Hang in there!

Diana E. Sung said...

Jen, I've been thinking about you a lot these days. You've been going through so much--some good, some bad. I was reading "The Simple Living Guide" by Janet Luhrs and I think I should send it to you when I'm done. Here's an excerpt: "Our time famine is really an intimacy famine. It is much easier to stay busy and frantic than it is to love and know ourselves and others deeply. We're busy just because we want to be busy. Staying busy appears to give our lives meaning... and staying busy is safe. We don't really need to get in and look at our lives when we're rushing from one thing to the next." (p. 2).

Let me know if you're interested. Congrats on the condo.

Why am I here??? said...

Hi Diana, YES definetely interested! There's a whole lot of truth to that comment for me!