Monday, November 21, 2011
I think more times than not I'm writing about my struggles to find balance in my life. I think this is a struggle I will have for the rest of my life-something that I will just have to come to terms with.
While trying to achieve the perfect balance, what may work for one person won't necessarily work for me. Or it may work for one week for me but not the next. That's the struggle for me. It's that I'm trying to strike a perfect balance where I will feel centred, stress free, and like I "have it all together" all the time.
And now I'm starting to realize that it's not going to happen. So while I have to keep in mind that working less and spending more time with my husband is actually a good thing, I also have to know that I'll never be 100% happy or feel grounded 100% of the time. Some days I think "ah ha! I've got it all figured out and I've finally got it" and some days I'm like "what the hell was I thinking?".
And I think the part that I struggle with is that I'm different. I'm trying to be like others in my life or what others expect of me. But in reality, the system I've got works for me. And I'm very happy with this lack of balance. I'm happy to stay up until 4 am working on a university assignment, work hard for an entire week and then crash at 8pm on a Friday. I'm an all or nothing person and I'm okay with that, even if other people think I'm crazy.
People think I'm crazy for marrying someone who doesn't speak the same language as me. People think I'm crazy for living in my parents basement. People think I'm crazy for going to Korea. My life up-to-date is far from conventional so I'm going to stop trying to "fit in" because that's what society deems as "normal".
Fuck normal! I've always been one to bend the rules and challenge the status quo so why should this time be any different?