Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Monday game night and SEX!
Now that I've got your attention.....
I'm getting into the groove of life in Regina. It's taken a long time and it's been an up and down process; a battle per say.
I've learned that there is no easy way to transition into it. We both have been working full-time and were lucky to get decent jobs within the first month of arrival. But I've learned that money doesn't equate happiness. DUH!
Sung Hyun LOVES Canada. I, on the other hand, could go to another country tomorrow. I love the adventure of the unknown and exploring new cultures is really rewarding to me. It keeps me grounded. Make me appreciate diversity. It makes my heart smile.
Regina (where we live -- yes that's the name of my city) is so boring. But I'm really not giving it a fair chance. Since not much has changed since I've left and come back I've just written it off as easy. Friends....check! Supportive parents....check!
I've learned that I don't like comfortable. I don't like routine.
Two nights ago when Sung Hyun and I were arguing over me wanting to live in a different country (not Canada, not Korea) he told me 'no!' There was absolutely no way that he was going to consider such a suggestion considering he just uprooted everything he's known to make a go at life in Canada. Fair, enough! I get his point.
I told him that if he wasn't going to live in a different country for 1 year, then I wasn't going to have children. Fair? Yah, probably not!
(I know I say things that I don't mean when I'm angry)
I need to start factoring MY husband (you know that guy I married) into the decisions. Damn it's hard! (I'm not trying to say I'm selfish and think only of what I want but there are important things in my life that I want to accomplish while also taking into consideration another person. Add in language and cultural barriers and you're batting 0 for 10! So yah, those important things may happen in my life but not exactly when or where I want)
Sung Hyun told me he's not my dog!
I'm probably one of the most honest and open people (regarding about my life). I often talk about things that people don't want to hear. TMI Jen, TMI*.
So when I have people compliment me via facebook, or email, or even this blog about how well I'm doing since having moved back to Canada I have to read again and think 'ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ME?'
Cause FUCK it's been a battle. In fact, my marriage has been a battle. I NEVER experience that 'honeymoon phase' that happens after you get married. It just skipped on right over me (and Sung Hyun!). And I'm NOT at all ashamed to say that my relationship with my husband is hard (cue: haters that want to leave mean comments).
It's like what I always told people in Korea about why divorce was so high in Canada but so low in Korea: "Do you think that married couples in my grandparents generation didn't want to get divorced? I BET NOT! I bet that women couldn't because they were financially dependant on their husbands. I bet that because divorce was stigmatize and pathologized that it made it a lot harder for people to get divorced. BUT don't think for a second that people weren't unhappy and wanted a way out."
I don't want a way out by the way (not yet anyway...hehe). Sorry that was just a tangent. Those happen often in my life.
But I'm not afraid to stand up and say (yell) 'what the fuck?' How do you navigate this life? How do you successfully balance the needs of two people? How do you continue to love the same person? Or have sex with them? (blush!)
I don't PRETEND to be happy. I struggle with happiness. I want so bad to 'just be happy one day'. It's not going to magically happen is it? DAMN!
So in times like these when everyone (okay, most people) on facebook post pictures of their newly-built house, husband, 2.5 kids and white picked fence, I can't help but wonder what is it that they are not sharing? Or why it is they are not sharing? Why do we have to create a life that is picture perfect to others? Why are we so afraid to display our weaknesses?
So I've been thinking about writing a book. About myself - weaknesses and all. It would go something like this:
Perfect on the Outside!
One girls tale of life and love in a foreign country OR
Finding love in South Korea (kind of)
Chapter 1: My relationship is so perfect it would make you all gag
Chapter 2: The break-up, the make-up, the rebound (that I married!)
Chapter 3: We everyday Canada style good-bye (long story - you'd have to read this chapter if you wanted to find out)
Chapter 4: Something else (reader's suggestions)
Chapter 5: (more reader's suggestions - like other juicy stuff you want to know about me)
Chapter 6: Having sex on your honeymoon is overrated
(a whole chapter devoted to SEX - or lack of!)
Chapter 7: Or maybe 2 chapters about SEX
Chapter 8: Living with your in-laws
Chapter 9: something else about my adventure in Korea.
Oh, damn it! I can't think of anything else that I could write about.
Any readers if I wrote said book?**
And to think, this post got starting with me wanting to talk about playing Monopoly with my family on Monday night!
*TMI = too much information!
** p.s. I'm totally not joking about the book. Or about the juicy details either ;)