Friday, February 11, 2011

Disconnecting!


I spend way too much time on Facebook and this blog and other blogs. So with my all or nothing attitude I am saying 'good-bye'.

I'm disconnecting from this blog and my FB and re-connecting with the real world.

I have been told by some that I make Sung Hyun look bad and thus myself as well. AND that is NOT or NEVER was my intention. I vent and am very open about my relationship and life. I'm not afraid to write about bad things, even if people negatively judge me. It's who I am. I never regret anything I've written or shared here and I want to thank everyone for their comments and support.

So GOOD-BYE and I'll be back (I just don't know exactly when........)

xoxo

17 comments:

J from Australia said...

Whoa! :(

I've followed your blog for a while and have enjoyed reading about Korea, your relationship with Sung Hyun, your food posts ... everything.

It takes guts to put your personal life out there and I think whoever said you make Sung Hyun look bad was a bit much. I'm pretty sure I remember reading about how hard-working and sweet he is. Every relationship has it's ups and downs.

But as someone who spends way too much time online, I think taking care of priorities in real life does come first.

I wish you and Sung Hyun all the best and sincerely hope you revisit some time in the future to give us an update.

Take care.

Danielle said...

I love that you are open about everything. But, I totally understand the need to disconnect. I have to do it myself sometimes.

See you when you get back
~D

Aimee said...

Say it ain't so! I love reading your blog and following your adventures (even if I don't comment too often). I don't think you made yourself or your husband look bad. I appreciate your honesty and openness. You have a real relationship and you talk about real things that real couples deal with every day. Especially as another white girl very close to being engaged to a Korean man, a lot of things you write about are things that no one else I know can really relate to.

But I understand it's a personal decision, and I hope you come back soon. But if you don't, thank you so much for writing and taking pictures and sharing your life with us!

Mrs. Kim said...

Jen--I have never commented here before (that I recall) but just wanted to say that I enjoy reading your descriptions of your life with SH because they are so real. Of the several blogs-written-by-Western-women-married-to-Korean-men, yours is the only one that doesn't make me roll my eyes. Oh my husband is so perfect. Oh we are so good together. Oh we never fight about anything. Please! I don't think you make SH look bad at all. I think he sounds human. How surprising! Take a break if you need to. I will be waiting for you to come back.

Foreigner Joy said...

I understand the desire to leave FB but not your blog. Exposing your life has been really helpful and genuine to your readers. I don't think you made the guy look bad. In many ways you made me feel more comfortable with knowing I will eventually marry mine.

Ah well. Will be waiting for your return. ;)

Yeji said...

Oh gees... you make me log in... I don't know who 'some' is but that's not true that your blog make your husband look bad. I found that he seems pretty happy since he came to Canada and I am very happy for that (to have been in the same shoes). I did sort of the same thing (disconnecting 'some community cafe', should you know... but I regret it now) Just take your time and take it easy. Your blog really refreshing to me. ;)

Diana E.S. said...

I've been following your last few posts and wanting to comment out of concern for your health. Not because you've been making your husband look bad or that what you're doing on your blog is wrong or anything like that... Just, you've seemed very upset about a number of issues lately (work, finances, comparing yourself to others, sex, etc.) and I wonder if you're getting the support you need in life. I'm worried about you!

I hope that you use this break to focus on getting your happy back. You've spent years idealizing life in Canada with SH... It's natural to be disappointed when you encounter setbacks. You KNOW I'm dealing with some of this same shit. I've found that during this time, I've had to pull away from the internet support and focus intensely on the people in my life--my husband, my family, my friends. And as a result, I discovered that I actually needed more help than I was getting and sought medical assistance with my depression. It has completely turned around my mood in the last month and a half. I'm not to the point yet where I can blog with regularity again, but I'm getting there.

Before Going Places, I had a personal blog where I was really "honest" about everything--every thought that went through my head, every negative feeling I was having, and things like that. I ended up destroying 3 relationships with people I loved and harming another 2 severely and they have yet to fully recover from that blow--which was now over 7 years ago.

Blogs can be great for venting if that's what you want to use yours for, and certainly you've had a pretty supportive group of comment-ers (why you're choosing to focus on the 1-2 that dissented from that opinion instead of the overwhelming number who were offering support, I really don't know, but I know that sensitivity to criticism and numbness to positives is an indicator of depression). However, I don't think blogging should be a replacement for real-life support.

Sometimes being so "honest" on a blog is a way that we permit ourselves to be disingenuous with the people in our lives, including ourselves. Use this time sans-internet productively. I will eagerly await your return when you are ready.

Much love,
Diana

Anonymous said...

I really wish you weren't but I totally understand that you need to and it really is a good idea. I, too, have done in the past and I really felt like it was a good decision. I always come back though when I feel like I have things in perspective or if I miss my "friends" online. I hope you do too!!

On the other hand, I love reading your blog because it's not just about your relationship. It's about finding your place in life, loving yourself but at the same time trying to become the best person you can be. I understand that SH was not too happy that you wrote stuff about money stuff on the blog but the reality is that people who are newly married go through that when money gets put together. If you have two people who have different ideas about money then it takes work to make those compromises so both people feel comfortable and happy and not stymied. You will get there, I know you will and it will be a good place for both you and your husband.

I have just really enjoyed your blog. Your honesty even discussing things that are real and are authentic to relationships is a breath of fresh air. Most do not or they are denial about their relationship. There is a ton of growth that happens in a relationship, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. I have always admired you for posting the easy stuff (which you post a lot of by the way, it's not all negative) and the hard stuff.

Anybody who tried to tell you differently by insinuating you are negative about SH or that you are a bad wife/person or that relationships should not be hard or that you must not love/respect/care enough about SH are full of crap, shit, bs, or whatever you want to call it and really aren't doing anyone any good.

ambearo said...

You will be missed!

Mina Lee said...

Oh NO, don't go! I am a 1.5 generation KA living in AZ and I really enjoy reading your blog. I don't think you guys look bad in this blog at all, just real and honest. I think you guys are an adventurous and happy and fun couple! Pls come back... :-) I don't understand anyone that would leave you negative comments...

Shelley said...

I know you're going through a hard time. But I loved reading your blog and realizing someone else is feeling the same way I am, that marriage isn't perfect and it takes work, moving back to Canada can be hard and not what you expected, even though you probably dreamed about it for so long.
I'm going through these things to. I want to move home so bad, but I have a feeling once i get there, I'll be like ok, same shit different pile. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

You obviously have to do what you have to do, but you will be missed.

Helena said...

Best of luck to you! :)

Jessica said...

Dear Why am I here???,

This is a friendly follow-up to our first message to you (May 2010), to warmly invite you again to list your blog on our Expat Women Blog Directory (http://www.expatwomen.com/expatblog/). Blogs like yours are excellent sources of information for relocating expats, so we would love to include it with our other 1,700+ self-listed blogs.

We are also excited to let you know that we just re-launched our main website (http://www.expatwomen.com/), so please drop by and have a look if you are interested.

Many, many thanks and wishing you success abroad!

Jessica Perez for ExpatWomen.com

Why am I here??? said...

Thanks Jessica! DONE!

Anonymous said...

Hello Jennifer. I occasionally checked your blog posts. Too bad you decided to have some break, hope you are doing well. I got this address through your husband's post :) Your blog gave little fun to me.

by the way, I made a new korean-canadian forum. I thought you might wanna visit and have some chit chat with other kor-can couples whenever you come back. Hope we can see you there. the address is http://kor2can.freeforums.org

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

We miss you! I know you feel the need to keep some things private, but please update us a bit on how things are going! How's work, life, marriage? I really miss your updates!