Monday, August 24, 2009

Super wife!!!

I'm stubborn and Sung Hyun is easy going. It's a good mix. But on some occasions when the stars are all lined up against us, we get in little arguments about silly things that don't matter. Take Sunday night/Monday (in the wee hours of the) morning for instance. We always find our way to work through these little tiffs but this time it ended with a 3 hour trip to the hospital.

They start with me crying. I cry a lot. (is there something wrong with me? why am I so emotional? Anyone else in this boat?). And Sung Hyun usually knows the things to say and do to me to make me feel better. Unfortunately he's under a lot of stress due to certain circumstances in our near future (something I can't talk about now, but will soon).

Anyways, so here's what went down (because I know some one's going to ask what happened, so I'm going to skip that whole awkward, 'he hurt himself by accident when we were goofing around'-- which btw, is what he told the doctors).

Alright! We were in bed. I was crying, he was tired and wanted to sleep. I was complaining that we didn't spend enough time together (which we don't). And he was pissed that I couldn't stop crying. So he punched the wall. Yup he punched the CEMENT wall.

The wall won! (Like don't you just hate when that happens?)

But I didn't find out till about 10 minutes later because of my blubbery 'life is unfair state' to even realize he was in pain -- to even realize he punched the wall in the first place. Yup good job wife!!!! (there goes the wife award for this year, and possibly the next 10)

He finally told me, after 10 minutes, that he thought he needed to go to the hospital. He was in pain, I could tell.

We grabbed an ice pack a rushed off to the best hospital in Seoul, which also happens to be really close to my house.

And there we stayed for 3 hours -- 8 x-rays later, the doctors told us he broke his hand. Yup it was broken. I saw the x-ray myself. They tried to set it then cast it, then they told us he'd probably be scheduled for surgery in 3 days.

Waiting to find out if it was broken
"Smile and hold your cast on your head!"
"Hold here, while I move your broken finger"
In the mean time I couldn't help but notice how dirty the hospital was. Like are there no janitors employed in this place or what?
Hummm.....dirty diaper in the waiting area, right beside the chairs
Shit piled everywhere and pieces of gauze on the floor. Disgusting crusted on stuff on the table top. Like, is this hygienic or am I being too picky?
I shouldn't judge since I'm not very organized myself, but this is a hospital emergency room people!!!
So Sung Hyun's going back to work tomorrow. Did I mention he's a welder?
Like w.t.f?


Anonymous said...

Ahhh I feel YOUR pain exactly. I know just what you are going through. Sounds like my hubby and yours are quite simialar or maybe it is a Korean thing? I dont feel like we spend enough time togeter, I as well *Used to* cry a lot. He is very unemotional and hides his feeling well. I dont know what your Korean family is like but mine never say 'I love you' or hug or anything like that. I find this strange because my family does. When my hubby gets real mad, he also likes to hit things (Not me, never has he!) He usually punches the floor because it wont break like our walls here would LOL! If my husband broke his hand, I dont think I would feel overally sorry for him.
Anyhow!! Hope his hand heals fast. Hold him tight, lavish him with love! (I know you already do but gotta say it Lol!) I once heard a Canadian married to a Korean Korean (Korean Korean are Koreans who grew up in KOrea all the way!) say that the first 5 years of marriage were very hard but after that it was not so bad... I have been married for 6.5 years and its still the same for me (Like him punching and storming out of the house when he gets uspet at the SILLIEST things!)
Do I make any snse at all !!?? I feel like I am not getting out what I want to say!!
Cindy (Samuel, Madalyn, Rachel)
PS.. I think hospitals there cold use a few hundred or maybe thousand more cleaners! The hospital I had to stay at had the dirtiest ER I have ever been in. The bathroom was a nightmare! I cant remember the name of it but it was in Sa~dang.

The Juice Box said...

Sending hugs and healing thoughts to you guys. I hope his hand will heal quickly and without much trouble :/

PS. That is dirty, I work at SIAST and the practice rooms for the nurses and EMT's are cleaner than that :/


Amanda said...


That's pretty terrible, Jen.

Diana E. said...


Sorry to hear about your situation. :( You can call me if you need to talk.


P.S. And I have to respond to Cindy ascribing wall-hitting behavior to Korean men. While I dated one guy who chose to express his anger in this manner, he was not Korean. My Korean fiance expresses his anger in much different ways, so it is not a "Korean" trait.

Anonymous said...

My ex Korean boyfriend used to tell me that I had such a strong personality that it drove him crazy because he is very easy going and I am so stubborn so that kind of brought me back! I have no real words of wisdom other than to say that I think nobody starts a marriage the perfect wife or husband. There is a huge learning curve in being married, add on being married to someone of a different culture and language and you add more to the curve. DO NOT beat yourself up about this, it is CLEARLY obvious from your blog that you are a great wife and partner to your husband and he to you. Don't let this one incident in which many people experience in their own relationships tarnish your relationship. I would bet a lot of money that you have learned so much from this experience and next time things get a little chaotic, things will go differently.

I hope your husband's hand heals quickly and that he doesn't need surgery. I wish you both the best and I know that you will be great together for the rest of your lives....

Why am I here??? said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! To be honest I was expecting some 'be careful he doesn't hit you next' kind of reponse!!!

So I'm overwhelmed with the nice comments and supportive ppl.

Thanks for all that info Cindy. Yes I understand what you are saying and there are certainly many differences b/w Western and Korean men. What's with the hitting thing? And yes, no hugs or 'I love you's' either ;(

Thanks for the hugs Amy. I love the virtual support. Is there some reason I can't read your site?

Yes Amanda I know it's terrible. The whole situation was terrible.

I may just have to come for a visit Diana.

And WOW anony. your comment made me feel really good! So thanks for that ;)

Thanks to all you wonderful women!

Tanya said...

Hi Jenbear,

Ok my dear you know me, I'm a very emotional person too. I cry alllll the time that S isnt even affected by it anymore. I think its a woman trait to think they dont spend enough time with us and its a man trait to wonder what the hell we are thinking, didnt he just sit on the couch with you and watch tv for an hour haha.

As far as the anger thing, again man trait, has nothing to do with korean men its just a man thing. S gets mad and yells and kicks and screams and he throws things at the wall.

Hahah Sung hyun would NEVER hit you haha he chose to pick a fight with a cement wall with the chance of breaking his hand over getting angry at you.

Relationships are tough because no matter if you are a different culture or not you are still two separate people so you have two separate views and emotions and its all about making it work and you guys are doing just fine. You compliment each other really well. Could you imagine if both you and sung hyun were extremely emotional every day ha. wouldnt be pretty. He is the quiet, collected one (minus the wall punching) to your emotional disarray (like me).

Sandra said...

I wouldn't call it a Korean guy thing, I'd say it is an angry/upset guy thing. My husband, white, American, half Italian, has broken his hand three times by punching immovable objects like walls and lockers.

Diana E. said...

Hey Jen... As of tomorrow, I will have space for you (and Sung Hyun if he wants) to visit and sleep :) Yay bigger apartments!

You're welcome anytime.

Alisa said...

Oh hunny! I am just starting to be a crier, myself. I never have been before. SH knows you so well, and yes, he gets frustrated when he is tired and you are crying, as do you. And I am sure you both want to spend more time together, so you are both frustrated. But things happen. They just do, and it is no one's business the little things that happen in a marriage, unless you guys choose to share them. I could not see SH hitting you, ever, even if he got so angry he punched through the wall into the neighbours place! From what I have heard the first 5-7 years of marriage are the hardest, you are getting to know each other better, learning about each other and more about yourself, and figuring out how to move through life with another person attached to it. I know that with patience and love, you guys will make it!


The Juice Box said...

Hey Jen,

I haven't gotten very far with mine yet, so there actually isn't anything there yet to read. Once there is, I shall surely let you know :)