Friday, September 26, 2008

End of the week.....

Yah it's Friday and what a wonderful feeling that is.

I love the feeling of going into work on Friday and putting that extra bit of effort into the kids so that you end the week on a good note. Although usually they go home with a pile of homework anyways. I left school at 5:30 today (usually it's 4:45) because I've got an extra class this semester and I saw 3 of my boys heading out of the school. I had a smile on my face knowing that I had no obligations tonight (or appointments as Koreans would say). I told the boys to go home and enjoy their weekend, but they informed me they were off to hogwan classes -- yah more school for them. It's too bad they have to work so hard. The competition is tough and the parents expect high grades. It's better to fill in the right bubbles beside the questions and score 100% then it is to learn. As long as my kid gets first place in the class then I'm okay with that, is often the attitude. Today one girl said that if she got 10/10 on her English spelling test her dad would buy her roller blades. Wow, I don't ever remember having to get bribed to do well. Getting a 100% on a test was a good enough reward for me and no monetary value made up for how I felt achieving that score. Even up into university I strived to get good grades. I lived on the stress of staying up all night to finish a paper and then was ecstatic to see I had received a 90+%. It was better than Christmas for me (well minus the snow angels, Christmas carols and waking up to a stocking stuffed with Santa's surprises).

I think that is what I miss in my life right now. I know that I enjoy teaching. I know that I like to help people. But I'm one of those people that needs to get a pat on the back for doing well, ughhh humm right mom!! The score on my paper or university exam gave me just that. I'm not sure that teaching ESL in Korea is affording me such an opportunity. Afterall this journey was suposed to last only a year; I'm almost at 3.

But don't get me wrong, since I'm not trying to say that I wish I was back home or that I wish I didn't come back to Korea because in fact I think the opposite. I think of how brave I was to venture to another country full of unknowns after being dumped by my long-term boyfriend of 4 years a mere 10 days before the wheels of the airplane left the tarmac. And for that I'm proud. I'm proud that I've pushed through all the hard times and was able to stand on my own two feet, not without the support of family and friends.

I'm so happy that I've met someone whom I truly love and admire. Someone who doesn't speak the same language as me, yet still finds ways to make me laugh. Someone who challenges me daily and is still there to comfort me when I cry, for whatever mundane reason. Someone who proves through his actions that he is doing everything possible to make it work, to make 'us' work. And for that I'm happy.

I'm also so greatful for such a wonderful supportive family. As I talked to my mom the other day on the phone the last thing she said to me was "don't forget how proud we are of you and everything you have done with your life!!!!" And that made me cry.

The magnificiant friendships I have made in my life can't be traded, replaced or taken away from me. I'm so lucky to have people that care. I'm blessed in more ways than one.

I can tell that this year will be full of changes. And I'm ready for just that. I'm ready to move forward, to be challenged and tested. And at the end of the day, or in this case the end of the week, I will kick back and enjoy my accomplishments and most importantly be proud of who I am.

So here's to a wonderful weekend everyone!!!!!

No comments: