Sunday, February 03, 2008

Don't know what's wrong with me.....


.....but for some reason i am missing Sung Hyun big time. The first month being at home was a breeze, I was busy seeing all my friends I was surrounded by the hustle and bustle that Christmas brings. Now that everyone has settled into their daily routine I am left doing NOTHING.

I've done a bit of work at my mom's office but my days usually consist of getting up at 2 pm. then relaxing on the couch with a book. And you know what? I hate reading, so something MUST be wrong........but I always turn on my computer (which is a piece of crap) and search through my regular sites for an hour or so. And then continually do so throughout the day.

After I eat breakfast I watch some Dr. Phil (not that I really like it, just that it's addicting and that's what's on tv). Then I flip to the judge shows and watch them till my mom comes home at 4:30 pm and she asks me what I've done all day to which I reply 'exactly this'. She's worked a whole 8 hours and I've only just begun my day.

I eat supper, which feels more like lunch and chill with the fam. My mom usually passes out on the couch at 8:30 because she's so tired and if she makes it to 9 then we're lucky.

And did I mention that I miss Sung Hyun. I'm okay during the day but at night it's the worst. He's super busy in Korea and doesn't call me. Well that's not true, he does call when he has time, but we never talk long enough and he never calls often enough. I feel like he's forgotten all about me and that I'm the only one going through this. I KNOW he's busy and I KNOW he's studying for ME, but I just need to feel loved. And right now I'm not.

So I told him about this. And he doesn't really think it's that big of a deal. I called him on his one day off and was expecting to talk with him for at least 1 hour. But he was sleeping when I called (3 pm Korean time) and we only chatted for a bit till my card ran out and he said that he'd call me back tomorrow, which meant Monday (his time), which meant it would be on his lunch hour, which meant we would only talk for 10 minutes.

I cried...................

Maybe I'm being too greedy and disrespectful of him. But this is how I feel and I've tried to ignore my feelings and do other things to get my mind off him. But to no avail, every night I am left wondering if I'll get the change to talk with him.

I don't know what to do. I got mad at him and now he's upset at me.

So now we've made phone dates. I'll get to talk to him every Tuesday and Thursday night for 10 minutes and again on Saturday night for (hopefully) longer.

I'm going to the States for 3 days to do some shopping with my mom. This distraction is exactly what I need.

Sorry for the rant...........

14 comments:

Amanda said...

Hon, SKYPE! Why don't you two get SKYPE? Calls are free or very, very cheap!

Amanda said...

Check your email.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your dilemna hon. It can't be easy doing the long-distance thing even if its only for a couple of months...but your time here is almost over and soon you will be back with your honey, and missing those in Canada instead. So in my opinion if it was me, I would try and treasure each day I had left here in Canada, and look forward to seeing my honey instead of being sad. And there must be lots you can do to keep busy - go out and take pictures of all the things you miss while in Korea to look back on, and visit with everyone you can possibly think of. Time will fly, and the 25th will be here before you know it, and then you will feel that you wasted a month here feeling sorry for yourself. And don't forget to get all the things you can't in Korea to take back with you!!

Marie said...

And that anonymous was me, Marie btw...it didn't publish who I was for some reason....

Why am I here??? said...

You're right Marie, that picture idea is so great!!! So that is my new project. Thanks ;)

Sandra said...

Shopping is great! I always miss my husband when he is away, it doesn't matter how often he calls or for how long, it just isn't the same. Especially since we normally sit next to each other every night, he at his computer and me at mine :p Ah, well.

Professor Amy-Michelle said...

Yo Jenn,
Ahhh... your posting today made me feel so sad for you. I guess I AM having sympathy pains for you like you mentioned on my homepage. Hang in there girl... you're stronger than this!
I agree with your friend Marie. Try to enjoy your time in Canada cause you KNOW when you're back in Korea you'll miss Canada. It's kind of like a double-edge sword situation.
It's ironic that you mention that you feel you are not doing anything these days... well, dido. I feel EXACTLY the same way too and I am here in Korea. How ironic, don't you think.
Don't be too hard on yourself or on Sung Hyun. Remember, relationships are hard work but if you love each other, than well, it is all worth it... damn.. I should really listen to my own advice!!!
Keep your head up Jenn. Please try to enjoy your time in Canada, not only for your sake but also for the sake of others. I'm sure your family doesn't want to see you miserable, same goes for Sung Hyun too. You can't change the fact that you're not in Korea right now so try to make the best of your situation and appreciate the fact that you are surrounded by family and friends. I envy you right now, seriously.
So, keep smiling and realize that you're a strong, beautiful woman who's popular worldwide ;) I'm sure seeing your face in Canada means the world to your friends and family right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

asiangarden said...

((hugs)) that sucks. I hope things work out for you two.

Chels said...

Hey Jen,
I can definitely understand the long distance thing. It's brutal, especially if you are not used to it, and I did it for 2 years. I agree with Marie's advice, try not to focus on how much you miss him, instead focus on how great it will be to see him. You should try making a list of all the things you want to do with him when you get back to Korea. This will force you to focus on the positive too. Anyways, I feel your pain, however in another month it will be reversed, you'll miss your family, not your bf.

On a completely different note, I'm coming to Korea in April (to meet the family), maybe we can go for coffee or something. I'll be in Seoul about 5 days.

Chelsey

Beloved said...

I know I say it all the time (here and on Amy's page), but I so know what you are going through. That is EXACTLY how I felt when I spent 5 weeks in the U.S. without my husband. The thing that I found most infuriating is that my husband seemed to be fine with it. Our phone conversations were so brief and meaningless when we did have them. I think that's due to language and to the differences between men and women (women=talk, talk, talk while men=action, action, action--and I don't mean that in a bad way). Anyway, I agree with previous commenters and I hope that you will be able to enjoy your remaining precious time in Canada with your family, all the while knowing that Sung-Hyun is missing you and looking forward to when you get back.

Btw, where are you going shopping?

Annie-Me said...

Jen,

I've done the long distance relationship too many times to count Jen. It is hard, I know very hard. In the year that Hodge and I have been dating, well you know how much we've seen each other. We talk alot to each other. I have the problem of not being able to call Hodge. The biggest problem, and I mentioned this to you before, is NOT doing anything at home. You are giving yourself too much free time. Take a cooking class, art class or something for the next two weeks. Its easier said then done hun.....get off the couch....it gives you less time to think about your boyfriend. Key- keep yourself busy.

Charlie's Entertainment said...

Hey, you should longer the times with him.. As Amanda says, using the program 'SKYPE' would help to talk more with him. It would be easy to get it through the Internet.
Jen, I had told you about this problem earlier, believing you had been determined to take it easy to build up the relationship with him.
I wouldn't say like this, "you should do it,, you should not do it..".. Instead, I truly know your feeling and... you are being so confused how comes to deal your feeling...

Yesterday, I called you wondering you came back or not, hoping to see you again(I've got holidays..)

Anyway, I hope you being happy all day.

Why am I here??? said...

Hey everyone, just got back from my shopping trip so I haven't been able to reply.......

Amanda,
Sorry I missed your call on Tuesday, can you try again?

Marie,
Good advice!!!! Seems to me that every one is agreeing with you ;)

Sandra,
Shopping was great -- exactly what I needed

Amy,
I'm doing my best to enjoy my time here. And the grass is always greener on the other side. You know about that

Asian garden,
That's the first virtual hug I've gotten and it feels good, thanks

Chels,
Have a blast in Seoul, you're gonna love it and not want to leave. When you're there be sure to email me or contact me to let me know when you're there. And I'll only go for coffee with you if you don't laugh at my Korean (and how bad it is)

Beloved,
Men and communication, it certainly is different. I was in Minot, North Dakota for some great shopping deals.......I love JC Penny

Anne Marie,
Yah Yah I know your situation is far worse off than mine, which is why I thought I could use some advice from you

Charlie,
Hey friend, I will be back at the end of February and when I get back I will be sure to give you my new phone number so we can meet again. Miss you.........and our long chats about life and love ;)


Thanks for the great response.

Anonymous said...

The responses here indeed show how popular you are throughout the world :)

E.L